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3月26日 So long and thanks for the all feedback.Well, it’s goodbye from this blog. For various practical reasons, I’m moving over to Blogger. So this blog, in this form, is now finished.
On a positive note I now have two blogs. The first will be a continuation of this nonsense - so a bastard son of hiking and bad writing. On the latter note, I've had half-a-dozen rejections for the last book, so I'm going to be posting the bastard in its entirety over the next few months. You can find it at:
Behindthelines.org will soon be redirecting to it too.
I've also started a parenting blog. It's aimed at dads like me who still haven't learned to go to bed early to make up for sleep deprevation. This lives at:
whereisthebloodymanual.blogspot.com
So goodbye WL Spaces - it's been, well, bloggy.
Mark. 2月19日 75k of Cornish ups and downsWell, that was novel. A hike in good weather...
Arrived in St Ives at 2:00pm after setting off at 7:00am in the morning - which is no excuse for badly twisting my ankle as soon as I got out of the car. It was bad enough for me to think about getting a lift back to the station and calling the whole thing off. What made it worse was that this was the first time I'd be hiking in fell running shoes (Inov-8 Roclite 315's) - so no ankle support. As it was, I managed to shake the injury off, but it left my ankle weak for the rest of the trip. I must of gone over on it on an hourly basis.
I'll spare you from a full trip report, other to say the following:
The Cornish Coast is stunning:
Going up and down headlands for three days is bloody hard work. Even tougher are the ones with stairs - they kill your legs
The 'theme park' at Land's End resemebles a pile of badly nailed together driftwood that could only be improved by being blown away in a dirty great winter storm. Hiking in the sun, for the first time in literally years (you can't believe how bastard-bad the weather is when I go hiking), is amazing. Finally getting to see some scenary is a major step forward.
The Lamorna Cove cafe is a godsend run by wonderful people. Thanks to a brief food-stop there we managed to knock off 35k on the first full day - despite tackling the toughest stretch of up-and-downing on the Cornish coast. One word of advice, the guy who cooks the food is lying when he says there's only one secion of upping on the next stretch of the coast :). Also, a big thanks to the farmer who runs the organic diary farm at Zennor for letting us have a corner of one of his fields. Really appreciated, especially at that time of night. We're looking for a spot for a multi-day hike in a couple of months. This has to involve trees as I'm planning to tarp it. I refuse to carry a walking pole. They suck and make you look stupid. I also fancy picking up an ultralight hammock, so woodland's a must. Bavaria, of all places, is currently top of the (very) short list. 2月7日 St Arrrggghhhhs? Isn't that Cornwall.Firstly - I'm taking a short break from work starting this weekend. I'm pegging it down to St Ives for a yomp along the South West Coast Path. Thanks to our wonderful train system is going to take almost six hours to get down to St Austell, then we'll be getting a lift up to St Ives to start our walk on the toughest stretch of the path. The views should be wonderful and, all being well, we should be pitching up near Zennor on the first night. After that it's just a question on how far our legs will carry us. Personally, I have a good feeling that we'll get through a good number of miles. Although the amount of miles covered is probably inversely propotional to the amount of booze we carry with us. The standard is a three-litre bag. We'll see how that works out.
I'm really struggling with the book. As much as I like the concept and the story line, it's just not feeling right at the moment. So I'm going to put it away and start working on another concept just to clear my head. The new project promises to be a good deal of fun. More about that when I get back. 1月30日 *blerk* I dun caughtta coldNumber two daughter had kindly passed her cold and chest infection on to me. Still, I do feel nice and toasty despite the weather.
Second rejection came in yesterday:
"Many thanks for sending us this proposal, which I read with interest. I considered it carefully but I’m afraid on balance it just doesn’t quite grab my imagination in the way that it must for me to offer to represent it."
I have to say I've been very impressed with the timely responses and gentle let-downs. Far from being disheartened, I'm really enjoying the process - even if the end result is a no. It's certainly making me want to spend more time on my latest book.
That's if I'm still upright by the end of the day.
I know I've promised to post extracts from the latest story, and have singularly failed to do so, but I'm very much intending to get something posted next week.
Cold permitting, of course. 1月28日 Corpses. So many corpses...Jinkies - time flies. I've recovered from the realisation that I'm actually an old bastard by accepting that, yes, I really am and old bastard.
There's also some please to be had in knowing I managed to scare one of my peers from the good old days with the realisation that we're both into our third decade of work...
Speaking of which, I'm am snowed under at the moment - and there's no sign of improvement. I have next week to catch-up before heading of on a hike then flying off to the
I'll be hiking along the north coast of Cornwall and getting battered by Atlantic winds. Hopefully the volumnous bags of wine both myself and my hiking buddy Chris take with us should provide a sufficient anchor. Otherwise watch out for my demise in the regional news.
Yesterday was spent dragging the kids around London. My eldest insisted I take pictures of her with every single bloody corpse in the British Museum then tried to dive into a fountain at Trafalger Square. This is exactly the kind of behaviour I anticipated. While there was nothing I could about the desecration of neolithic and Egyptian graves, I managed, at least, to prevent a soaking.
The less said about the youngest the better. Needless to say she shouts and screams like a tormented wino who's just spilled his Crucial Brew if she has to spend more than 15 minutes in her buggy.
1月24日 Another submission of the wheezy kid in schoolAnother day, another submission. I’ve put that book out to another agent and, as much as I want to put my feet up, I’m focusing on the new book at the moment.
I don’t think I’m going to spend too much time pimping the previous effort. Although a number of people have read and, indeed, enjoyed it, that’s a bit like having your mum tell you you’re really good at football – when the evidence suggests you’ll always be the last one picked.
So I’ll keep the submission work in the background for the time being. You never know, I might strike it lucky. Or that book really is the wheezy kid with the short leg who’ll only ever play in goal.
I’ve also pushed a short story out to a US publications that specialises in pulp. It’s a piece I wrote a while back that I’ve always liked. I developed it into half a novel as, even though it was great fun to write, commercially it didn’t stand a chance.
The dates for my next head-on encounter are set. So I’ll be staggering across cliff-tops on the north-Cornwall coast during February. Surprisingly, I don’t need any new gear. Which is a blessing as I’ve never been so poor in my life. Having a family is a bit like living with a group of muggers who constantly threaten you with emotional lady-feelings instead of knives. Or something like that anyway. 1月23日 21 Years TodaySo there I was, feeling pretty old and worthless, when I decided to have a poke round t'internet to find out just what it was I used to get up to when I were a sprog. After all, this week marks my debut in the world of press and publishing.
Low and behold, here's a piece I wrote for Commdore User 21 years ago.
Twenty-one years! I feel even older now.
This is a rotten piece of editorial that smacks of deadline-day. The giveaway is that I don't actually start talking about the game until half-way through the review.
Back then our equivalent of CTRL-x and CTRL-v was a literal cut and and paste. The designer received a type-set bromide of the text, sliced it to pieces with a scalpel and glued it to a board. While we journos sat at typerwriters smoking and waiting for the pub to open. This was back when licensing laws were rubbish and pubs closed in the afternoon.
*sigh*
Twenty-one bloody years in media. All I have to show for it is a lack of GCSEs. I started writing for mags at 15 and, as that paid and homework didn't, I sort of neglected to do any coursework.
And that's not to mention infrequent appearences in magazines. Such as this bit of nastiness from C&VG back in 1987.
1月21日 Rejected in a heartbeat"I am very intesrested in your work, but just didn't feel warm enough towards this."
So says the rejection letter I received on Saturday. A commendably fast turn-around when I was expecting the usual 6-8 weeks. This means that my manuscript either landed in the hands of a very diligent assistant or they hated it from line one. Either way, just having the physical proof that I've bothered to get of my lazy arse and do something is a real spur. I managed to knock out 400 words on the train on the way in. Despite number two daughter ensuring I had less than four hours sleep... 1月15日 The rejection slip triggerJust a quick update to say I've bunged a novel in the direction of a well-known literary agency. I'll publish a scan of the rejection slip when it arrives in 6-8 weeks. Into the wildernessI (almost) have my pass stamped for my first hike of the year. Hopefully I should be hitting the wilds somewhere in Britain around the 10th of February for a few nights of getting battered by the elements in some remote glen. I have full confidence in my gear and experience, but given the current weather conditions perhaps one of these might be advisable...
Making the planning sweeter is that I'm injury-free at the moment. The last eight-weeks have seen one back injury, a shoulder strain and two sprained fingers - all now healed. Not a bad count considering the amount of booze I put away over Christmas. A brief touch of norovirus also put paid to my festive weight gain, so things are really looking good.
I wish I could say the same about my latest book. My total contribution to the world of bad literature in the last week is two words 'Chapter Three'. Not exactly the stuff publishing contracts are made of.
My youngest is currently settling in at nursery - which means she'll soon have lots of nice new friends and I'll be even poorer. Still, she's cute and the bank's understanding (at the moment). She's also used Christmas to expand her vocabulary, so at eleven months she has, amongst other words:
Mama
Dada
Cat
Bye-bye
Good girl
Thank you (well, 'oo', but she knows what she means)
Hello ('lo)
For some reason she still calls her sister Ga instead of Josie. Which reminds me, if this blog is still around in ten years here's a message for prospective boyfriends looking to date my eldest:
She eats her bogies and really, really enjoys them.
Told you I'd get you back, Josie. 1月7日 Not dead yetReally. I'm not dead yet. I just look like it. In short I'm writing like an infinite number of monkeys. Well, not quite infinite, more like a small cadre. Still, in an infinite universe there should be enough time to start making sense. I've also rediscovered the joys of playing guitar. Loudly. With distortion. The one possession I've managed to hold on to (read, not hock) all these my custom built start with Floyd Rose trem and a disturbingly sweet humbucker. It plays as sweet as ever, which is nice considering the abuse I've put it through over the last fifteen years. Fifteen? Make that sixteen It was my birthday on new year's day. Another tick towards midnight on the life clock. If that doesn't inspire me to get a move on with writing, nothing will. 12月14日 One WeekA week gone. Little writing done. Advanced a level in martial arts. Had an overdose of teatowels at number 1 daughter's school play. Failed to buy a christmas tree. Failed again to buy a christmas tree. Decided to let missus go out and buy christmas tree instead. Failed to return any phonecalls. Felt guilty about not returning calls. Still haven't returned calls. Been up late helping missus with most recent MBA submission. Been up late pouring calpol down the neck of number 1 daughter who has a cough. Been up early because of work.
*breathe*
Dragged dental-phobic missus to the dentist. Paid TWO-HUNDRED FUCKING QUID for dentist to fire x-rays at her head. Had advanced warning of the NEAR FOUR-HUNDRED FUCKING QUID bill they're lining up for the treatment. Set-up new wireless router at home because ORANGE ARE BUNCH OF C*NTS who keep insisting I reset a modem that's CLEARLY FUCKING BROKEN. Forgot work network log-on password. Forgot new Gmail password. Remembered Gmail password and crawled to IT support for work password reset.
*breathe again*
Remembered mother's birthday. Felt bad as I forgot number 2 step-dad's birthday. Bought loads of christmas presents. Missed delivery of most christmas presents. Lugged a hundred kilos of old books up to the attic for storage. Failed to locate christmas tree decorations. Not that that matters yet.
I think I'm going to stay up very late tonight drinking wine and killing shit on my Xbox.
I need a vacation. 12月6日 *boilk* AgainFirstly, tip-o-the-hat to the excellent arseblog for the word *boilk*. I suggest you check it out, it may be an Arsenal blog, but it's one of the best written blogs I've come across in a long time.
I now feel very, very sick* and I'm sitting uncomfortably close to my bin just in case... (I once worked for a deputy editor on a well known magazine who once casually leaned over his desk, hurled into his bin and carried on working as if nothing had happend - thanks for the inspiration Dan).
Anyway - this is a quick note, particularly for family members who I know read this blog, to apologise for not returning calls etc. I deemed the potential background sound effects caused by my, um, distress unsuitable for broadcast.
*It's amazing how the human mind works. Monday night/Tuesday morning I kept waking up wanting to be sick. I did my best to ignore this only for my subconscious to take over by feeding me dreams of a highly wrong nature. The tipping point came with a dream of someone eating a toffee apple. Only it wasn't a real toffee apple. It was a chocolate coated scotch egg on a stick. Complete with sprinkles.
I was very ill after that. Thank you brain. As soon as I can hold fluids down I'm going to destroy you with alcohol. Take that mo'fo. Two kilos lighter......and not much better. Back in work after an uncomfortable two day relationship with a toilet bowl. Still feeling like death, though. Consequently I haven't even thought about writing, let alone putting any words down. 12月4日 1guy1bowl.comIf this post's heading means anything to you then you a) have my sympathy and b) I hope I have yours.
My tactic for drowning out illness through eating has failed. I've spent an uncomfortable amount of time over the last five hours staring into a toilet. I'm about to go back for more and to wave goodbye to the cup of tea I had 20 minutes ago. See you later, fella, it's been real. 12月3日 *boilk*An interesting weekend. Living in middle-class Toryville we witnessed santa arriving by helicopter at the local park, before we put the girls on a donkey to go an meet him. I'll explain in a later post. It's far too complicated today.
My much better half is currently flat out with some kind of vomity-disease thing and has been in bed for the last 14 hours. I suspect a norovirus. It's that time of year. I'm feeling slightly wobbly myself. I aim to kill or cure by having a MASSIVE breakfast. If I throw it up at least I had a crack at things and won't have to worry about the calories or sat-fats. If I hold it down then I should be OK for the rest of the day.
That's the kind of win-win scenario that only has losers. I like it.
I didn't get anything written at the weekend. Although my youngest was awake for a large chunk of Sunday morning so, from 3:53am through to 5:07am I had plenty of time to sketch out some further plot ideas while sitting on the stairs outside her bedroom. Depending on how far down the toilet my face is by 8:00pm tonight I'm planning on getting a lot written this evening. The fact that I'm well off the pace is bugging me. A few good sessions at the keyboard should see thing back on track.
*sigh*
Housework then on with business.
Ubi Est Vomitoreum as they may have said in Rome.
# 11月30日 Nyet!Last night I mostly ate pizza and played Mass Effect. I also went to bed at 9:40.
This isn't particularly rock and roll.
Neither is the fact that my entire WL Space, bar posts, is now appearing in Russian.
All that remains to be said is Можете ли вы мне прямой до ближайшего магазина брюк?
Writing will be posted next week. Once I've learned Russian, of course.
11月29日 RIP VolvoI was going to post something about this yesterday, but WL Spaces wouldn't allow the title "Bastard bastard buggering fuck" though. So I gave up.
The garage rang yesterday to confirm what I had expected, our car is a write off. To quote the mechanic "It's beyond repair". Arse.
Now we're waiting to hear how much we're going to get for it - I'm already eyeing replacements with the Alfa 164 creeping up my shortlist. However, the sensible option might be to get another Volvo S40. We'll see.
I've not written much this week owing to a serious bout of being lazy. I could catch-up tonight as the missus is out. Or I could play Mass Effect or CoD 4 and eat pizza.
It's been a crap week. I'll probably opt for the latter. 11月27日 A nerd's guide to writing toolsIt's been a hell of a week. Work's full-on, we're still waiting to hear if the car's been written off. I haven't started Christmas shopping and I've a load of other stuff that's begging to be sorted.
Roughly translated, this is all bollocks. While the facts are right, I've been using them as an excuse to avoid writing. Fortunately my new toy, an Asus EEE PC arrived last week. This is a truly great piece of kit and I can see why they're pretty much sold out everywhere. It's a hardback book-sized laptop that costs less that £200 (if you ignore VAT). It comes with Xandros Linux pre-installed - which is OK (it can also run Windows XP). I've wiped the SSD drive and installed Ubuntu instead. It totally flies and Ywriter 3 runs well under Wine (although it will lock up if you go full-screen without having Wine set to virtual desktop). Ywriter 4 doesn't start - but I'm sure I could invest some time in getting it running.
There I go again. I'm even avoiding writing about writing. Which as about as circular a time waste as you could ever create.
The EEE PC is a great tool for writing on trains. I bashed out nearly a 1000 words on the way home last night. Which would have been great if, at 3:30am* this morning I hadn't decided to ditch them. This chapter would have seen our hero taken off to have most of the plot explained to him by someone in the know, then sent out to muddle his way through. Utter, utter shite. It reminded me of every dodgy adventure/Dan Brown novel where the clueless protagonist can only get through by having other characters wave big fucking signs that say "Next Clue This Way --->". I don't want to treat either readers, or my characters, like idiots so it had to go. I know how I'm going to replace it and, importantly, the new chapter will be more in keeping with the style of the book.
I'm going to skip lunch to work on this with the aim of getting at least that chapter done by tomorrow night. And losing a couple of pounds. Very important at this stage of life. *I suffer from recurring bouts of insomnia. These come out of nowhere and typically last a couple of weeks. I'm just entering one now, which means the last couple of nights have seen me wake up at least half-a-dozen times. Ironically, for the first week or so, I feel better than ever in the mornings. By week two I'm a bad-ass coffee drinking arsehole with a short-temper and even shorter memory. 11月21日 Not tonight...I have a strange entry in my diary that simply states "Simon et al" from 6:00pm tonight. I assume it relates to drinking beer somewhere with a Simon. It was probably added by me while out on the lash, which it was seeing it there is such a surprised. I have no idea which Simon this refers to, where I'm supposed to be or why. All I will say is that I'm not going, sorry.
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